Head Over Feet
by DOJ
Summary: Lily realizes that her feelings for James are beyond her control My stories are always better than my summaries


A/N: I know I should probably be working on "Wishful Thinking" or studying for exams, but I heard this song in the car the other day, and it got me thinking about Lily and James, and I figured I might as well humor my muse for awhile. I swear to all my "Wishful Thinking" readers, I've already got the next chapter started, and it will hopefully be posted sooner than I originally said.  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Lily and James or anything else belonging to the ever-talented J.K. Rowling, nor do I own "Head over Feet" – Alanis Morrisette does  
  
Song lyrics will be noted in stars  
  
Lily Evans sat listlessly in the 7th year girls' dormitory, staring blankly at the single blood-red rose, placed delicately in a jade green vase, bestowing its exotic beauty on her bedside table. Her name was scrawled elegantly across a single sheet of folded parchment, she could only assume that inside the simple card was the name of the one who had sent her the rose, but she didn't have to unfold the note to know who it was. Every Valentine's Day, every Christmas, each and every one of her birthday's, a single flower somehow found its way to her bedside table, and every year it was from the same boy. For reasons she couldn't even begin to imagine, James Potter was infatuated with her.  
  
Glancing around her dorm, making absolutely sure that she was completely alone, Lily reached out a trembling hand, grasping the thin parchment with equally pale fingers. Taking one last fleeting look around her dorm, Lily slowly unfolded the card, reading the contents with a slight smile.  
  
Dearest Lily,  
  
A rose without a single flaw, seems perfect, doesn't it? Its beauty  
doesn't even begin to compare to your perfection.  
  
Always Yours,  
James Potter  
  
Allowing the sweet contents of the card one last smile, Lily hastily folded the parchment, carefully positioning it against the jade glass, as though it hadn't been touched. She couldn't possibly allow her friends to know that she had consented to reading James' card, let alone that it had made her smile. The 7th years all believed that she couldn't stand the sight of James Potter, and Lily was determined to keep it that way, despite whatever though may be nagging at the back of her mind.  
  
Sighing, Lily shook her mane of fiery red hair out of her eyes, and began heading towards the Great Hall, she'd have to face her friends eventually, though she would never give them the satisfaction they were all awaiting. Gliding gracefully down the stairs that led to the common room, Lily felt her heart skip a beat as she caught sight of a tall, muscular young man, standing with his back to her. 'Just don't think about him,' she chided herself silently. Lily had always taken great pride at keeping her emotions to herself, she was not about to let herself down know, not because of a pretty face and some petty poetry.  
  
Striding across the common room, Lily had almost reached the portrait hole when a deep voice called her back, "Hey, Lily!"  
  
I had no choice but to hear you  
  
You stated your case time and again  
  
I thought about it  
  
Slowly, involuntarily, Lily felt her body pivot on the spot, turning to find herself face to face with James Potter. "Hey," she murmured weakly, already lost in his deep, hazel eyes.  
  
"Hey, did you get my flower?"  
  
She nodded numbly, trying hard not to think about the card that he'd left with the flawless rose.  
  
"Did you get the card as well?"  
  
Lily nodded once again, feeling a smile tug unwontedly at the corner of her lips. She used all of her strength to fight it down, ending with an unflattering smirk. But even the smirk wasn't enough to wipe the growing smile off of James' face.  
  
"Lily, I know we've been through this before, but I'd really like you to consider being my girlfriend. I know that there is no other girl out there for me; you're the one I'm going to love until I die, Lily. You'll be with me eventually, why not now?" He spoke with such sincerity that Lily didn't retort with the swiftness she usually had, instead, she found herself pondering his question. He'd asked her this same question time and time again, and each time she'd replied with a forceful no, but now, she couldn't remember why she'd continuously rejected James.  
  
You treat me like I'm a princess  
  
I'm not used to liking that  
  
You ask how my day was  
  
James seemed taken aback by the fact that Lily hadn't rejected him, she hadn't even spoken yet. In fact, she seemed to be lost in thought, as though she were actually taking his offer into consideration. Afraid that her answer would come too soon, James quickly nodded towards the portrait hole. "I assume you're heading down to breakfast?" Lily nodded, "Why don't I walk with you, while you think about it?"  
  
Lily didn't know why, but she simply smiled and agreed. She had no intention of accepting James' proposal, and yet, she didn't want to reject it either. Instead, she merely traipsed down the halls of Hogwarts, James Potter at her side, while she thought in silence.  
  
Approaching the Great Hall, Lily was surprised to find that her friends had already left, but for some reason this didn't bother her as much as it usually would. As she reached the Gryffindor table, James quickly pulled out a chair for her, surprising her with his charm. Peering up at him, she tried to determine whether or not this was all an act to win her over, but was surprised to see an indifferent look gracing his face; he treated her like she was queen of the world, without putting much thought behind it. James Potter, much to Lily's surprise, was acting from his heart.  
  
You've already won me over in spite of me  
  
And don't be alarmed if I fall head over feet  
  
Don't be surprised if I love you for all that you are  
  
I couldn't help it  
  
It's all your fault  
  
It was at that moment that Lily Evans felt herself falling. The room before her spun in dizzy circles, James' face split into thousands of distorted images, and Lily's heart skipped fast against her chest. She hadn't meant to, she had taken every possible step to avoid it, but Lily Evans still found herself falling completely, irrevocably in love with James Potter.  
  
Your love is thick and it swallowed me whole  
  
You're so much braver than I gave you credit for  
  
That's not lip service  
  
"Lily, are you alright?" James looked up from his breakfast, clearly concerned at her strange behavior. She was staring blankly at her empty plate, a new spark alight in her eyes as though she had just realized something.  
  
"I-I'm f-fine," she managed to stutter out as she stared at him in wonder. All these times she had rejected him, and yet he still came back to win her over with a determination that matched her own. What kind of man could take such a harsh rejection over and over and still come back, knowing that he was only facing this rejection once more? Would Lily ever have been able to do that for someone she believed she loved? 'No,' she answered herself, once she'd been rejected once she'd never come back. In fact, she may never have gained the courage to ask someone out in the first place. She'd always taken James to be thick, when, in fact, his persuasive antics had been the bravery she'd never seen inside of him.  
  
You've already won me over in spite of me  
  
And don't be alarmed if I fall head over feet  
  
Don't be surprised if I love you for all that you are  
  
I couldn't help it  
  
It's all your fault  
  
"Are you sure you're all right?" James asked once more, staring at her, eyes filled with evident anxiety. "Maybe you should go to the hospital wing."  
  
Lily laughed in a voice that was not her own, "Even Madam Pomfrey couldn't cure what I have." She suddenly wanted desperately to confess everything to James, that maybe she hadn't really hated him after all, that she'd been in desperate denial, trying to hide her feelings from herself.  
  
James could see Lily battling with something deep inside, she may be an expert at hiding her true emotions, but James had watched her long enough to know when something was wrong. Hooking his arm through hers, James gently hefted Lily to her feet, steering her from the prying eyes of the Great Hall.  
  
You are the bearer of unconditional things  
  
You held your breath and the door for me  
  
Thanks for your patience  
  
Lily smiled to herself as James held the door opened for her, letting her exit the Hall before gently bringing the door to a close behind him. James was willing to stick with her, to hear her through, he was willing to be there for her when all else had abandoned her. As James led her into an empty classroom, she heard the words flowing from her mouth, a slight lilt to the sound, before she'd even had her chance to think it through. Lily Evans, queen of logic, head girl, the smartest girl in Hogwarts, was losing her cool over a boy. "James, I need to talk to you." As the words poured out, she could almost feel him holding his breath, bracing himself for rejection.  
  
You're the best listener that I've ever met  
  
You're my best friend  
  
Best friend with benefits  
  
What took me so long  
  
Taking in a deep, calming breath, Lily prepared herself to unleash the emotions she'd kept inside these past seven years. She braced herself for the tumultuous flood of rumors and consequences that would come with her confession. "James, I'm sorry for being such a brat these past few years. I'm sorry for the horrid way I've always treated you, and I just wanted to thank you for always being there for me. For listening to my troubles when I needed a friend, for listening to my complaints when no one else is around, for putting up with me when no one else would, and" she felt a smile curl across her lips, "for your persistence when all else would have given up on me."  
  
James let his breath out in a slow hiss as he stared at her in disbelief. "Does this mean . . .?" he cut himself off, afraid that all she wanted was to be friends, and nothing more.  
  
"It means yes, James, and I'm sorry it took me so long to finally realize that you're all I've ever wanted."  
  
I've never felt this healthy before  
  
I've never wanted something rational  
  
I am aware now  
  
I am aware now  
  
Emitting a disbelieving gasp of surprise, Lily felt herself being drawn into James' arms as he planted a gentle, intoxicating kiss on her lips. Her arms seemed to obey a mind of their own as the snaked around his neck, keeping him close to her. Lily had never imagined a love like this. She'd carefully planned how it would all go, the slow easing into a relationship, the rational steps that a boyfriend and girlfriend must follow, but as she lay wrapped up in James' arms, she realized that her heart never wanted anything rational, all she'd wanted was the constant romance James bestowed upon her.  
  
You've already won me over in spite of me  
  
And don't be alarmed if I fall head over feet  
  
Don't be surprised if I love you for all that you are  
  
I couldn't help it  
  
It's all your fault  
  
In spite of all Lily had done to prevent it, she had fallen head over heels in love with James Potter, the second most desired boy in school (after Sirius Black, of course). But, she realized with a jolt, her emotions had never been as under her control as she had believed. James had taken her emotions in his hands, and had carefully manipulated her until she could no longer deny her feelings for him. She couldn't help that her feelings had erupted in a volcanic proportion beyond her control; she knew that years from now she could look back and blame James for the conflicting emotions flooding through her veins. In spite of everything she'd once believed, Lily Evans was in love.  
  
A/N: So, what did you think? For once I actually agree with my muse on this one, I kind of liked it. It was so much fun to write, as that is all I've been doing since 9 this morning . . . what a way to waste the day. Okay, I didn't really like the last paragraph, but then again, I've never been good at endings. Please tell me what you think! Constructive Criticism is greatly appreciated! As are all nonsensical reviews!!!  
  
DOJ 


End file.
